the pillows  smell of that dampness
and i am having that old  headache again
there is nothing  to do
the night outside gives the illusion
of an infinite free time

an old excuse
and old refuge
from everybody's eyes

yet tomorrow shall arrive
not with promises
but with a list of "to dos"

for whom?
and where to go?
i shall wait for the night
with infinite free time
with its illusion of tomorrow

and my home feels like this
like a yellow postcard from 1996
like happiness
at half-session declared at school
for the heavy rains
to return home and look lazily at
the black n white
illustrations of a rapid reader book

a home where nobody would be a guest
a home that shall drown with me

compassion was for all
and pity, the more common syndrome was also for all

but love ....it cud not be shared ....selfishly guarded behind closed doors...
doors of wood ..doors of thoughts and feelings

sometimes i think the courtesans(or better say  whores) are a lot better...sharing love(not only physical)....with lots of people....

perhaps in war with the deepest roots of society and the holy family....and consequently capitalism.....etc

Have you seen the world after a storm?
I wish I could stay in that mood for ever

May the eyes open once more
May all the pain find home today
May the dams burst
And let the river flow

From Overhauling

And i have removed all the curtains from  windows
lest the way they sway on certain evenings
when the weather is alright
make me think of you
and make me miss home

but each goodbye uttered loudly
is a more solemn way to say
that its not
but the way the future unfurls
with my hands more numb than ever
i know its a goodbye
and it entices me to indulge more deeply
into a cave i have long known

the only chosen  light at the end
of that tunnel
was you

so now don't bore me
with the differences between want and need
i am in love with the love thats inside of me
and its screaming
 "how could you deny me?
how dare you deny me?"

but some evenings are so lovely
i wonder could it not be
pity ?
err compassion?


 love n equality?

To God

fight with the one who has already lost

the game of dice you set for him

not to kill him

only to make him realize that

he is a looser

ye hawa sab le gayi

karwa ki ki nisha bhi ura le gayi

urte hawa wo wale milenge kaha

koi bata do mere piya ka nisha

samay yo dhire chalo

bhuj gayi raho se chao

dur hai dur hai

pi ka gaon

dhire chalo

samay oo dhire chalo by lata mangeshkar from rudaali

From Overhauling

From Overhauling

From Overhauling

From Overhauling

From Overhauling

From Overhauling

From Overhauling

From Overhauling

From Overhauling

From Overhauling

From Overhauling

From Overhauling

From Overhauling

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From Overhauling

Define me

and cut me up if i dont stick to it

freedom is a punishment i can no longer take