October 27, 2011


The afternoon nap is always nostalgic.I always wake up with the feeling "where am i?'.Everything seems out of place.Bad mood ..meaningless bad mood. Don't want to go anywhere ..don't want to do anything.The need for some visually pleasing emotion springs up.Like a cat cuddling up in your lap.And just like that every image turns medieval in my head...old wooden furniture and appliances.....a rusted kettle..smoke coming out of a hearth ....worn out cotton gowns...a drowsy lazy dog walking by..a shepherd bringing back his herd of sheep from the pastures...all of these in the pale light of dusk-the time when the sun is setting and the street lamp is not yet lit.And in that pale light just a look at the lonely street that goes round my building is like a dive into a sea.Its uncomfortable and uneasy but still you swim through it. As if all of the brightly lit reality is a dream...all of these people around me-friends and acquaintances seem unknown.The places and people where I belong seem to be
lost in that pale light....they call me...but i cant find them.I am left in misery like a baby who has not yet learnt to speak is thirsty for water.

And I wish I were in home like in the old days when I was at school and our home was full of people.Someone will light a lamp in my room, make a cup of tea, pull me up, and sit close and switch on the TV..
Teach me when to go to sleep and when to wake up ...talk about healthy foods and health concerns at the dinner table. Pull me back to life.